A Gift and a Curse

Rating: PG

Title: A Gift and a Curse

Author: Lyta

Summary: Liam’s thoughts concerning his shaquarava

Spoilers for “A Stitch in Time”

“A Gift and a Curse”

Liam Kincaid woke suddenly from his tangled dreams to find himself, sweating, and his palms aglow. He shut his eyes against the brightness emanating from his shaquarava, but they remained as they were for several long minutes before they flickered out as suddenly as they had engaged.

Frustrated, Liam viciously kicked the blanket off him and debated waking Augur. Finally he decided his friend had been through enough on account of him and did not need to be awakened in the middle of the night by another of Liam’s troubles. Besides, he was not always going to have Augur or Lili or Da’an to help him up when he stumbled, and the sooner he learned to deal with these things on his own the better. After all, it was not as though Augur lacked complications in his own life: if Liam had not existed Zo’or would not have mistakenly driven Jonathan Doors insane and Augur would not have been thrown across the room when he intervened in Liam’s suicide attempt. And that, Liam thought, was only the most recent example.

He brushed his thumbs across the faint discoloration that was the only evidence he possessed the ancient Kimeran hassle now. There were times he appreciated his shaquarava, like after saving Da’an from the probe and when he restored his connection to the Commonality, and times when he thought the ancient Taelons had been onto something in choosing to abandon it. Currently his shaquarava seemed like the number one thing that would reveal his true nature to the Synod.

Liam yawned and glared at his palms. He couldn’t wish his shaquarava away, and if he did not rest he would be exhausted and controlling the shaquarava tomorrow would be even harder. He closed his eyes after whispering a Kimeran prayer for inner strength and tried to get back to sleep.