Copyright 2000, Lyta. All rights reserved. No part of this story may be re-posted in part or in full without written permission from me.

Disclaimer: Gene Roddenberry’s Earth: Final Conflict is copyright 1998, Tribune Entertainment Co. Its characters are used without permission, no infringement is intended.

Rating: PG

Title: My Father’s Eyes

Author: Lyta


Synopsis: Joshua Doors visits his father’s grave.


“My Father’s Eyes”


            Joshua Doors leaned against the hundred year old oak tree and stared at the trio of graves. Two already looked as though they had been there for decades, even though Joshua knew it had only been six years. The carefully laid sod still looked new, like a quilt in contrast to the sooth and unbroken blankets of greenery covering the others. Time would take care of that and in only months the grave would look like the others.

            Six years. Joshua ran a ran through his hair as he remembered the day of his mother and grandfather’s funerals. His father had been the Rock of Gibraltar, at the time he had hated him for it.

            Your father and wife are dead! Show some emotion damn you! Joshua had screamed silently at his father. The shock he had felt at the rapid succession of events: the Taelon arrival, the news of his parents involved in some kind of terrorist incident, his mother’s death, and finally that of his grandfather. The shock was beginning to wear off, maybe it was the sight of the two caskets, his mother’s pale and still face or the crowds of black garbed people milling about with tear reddened eyes.

            Joshua recalled being vaguely grateful that no one had asked him to say anything at the funeral. He knew he would not have been able to get any words across his lips. All he had been able to do was nod at the flood of awkward condolences.

            It had been his father who had eulogized Amanda and Jubal. Looking back Joshua saw the way exhaustion was etched into his features, the haunted look in his eyes, how his father had seemed to age a decade afterwards. That was the price of the stony mask. Now he understood Jonathan had to be the strong one not only to keep from falling apart himself, but for everyone else.

            Now it was his turn.

            The news had told of his and his father’s reconciliation right prior to his death, but Joshua knew even as he got up to eulogize his father many of the onlookers considered him a hypocrite. In a way the were right. He had tried to avoid meeting anyone’s gaze as he talked about the last things Jonathan had said to him, it took all of his strength to hold back tears. He knew he could not cry then, he had to be strong and coherent.

            Now he could cry.

            For days after the funeral, there were people by the gravesite. Maybe it was the late hour, Joshua knew it was well after midnight but he did not care, maybe the passage of a week had something to do with it, but for the moment he did not care. He could be alone with his family and that was all that mattered to him.

            He closed his eyes, still marveling at the unconditional love that had been in his father’s eyes. After everything he had done to him, Jonathan had still loved and sacrificed himself for his prodigal son. Tears fell silently down his cheeks, but he did nothing to stop them. Joshua stumbled over to the grave and fell to his knees beside the sod covered mound.

            “I’m sorry Dad. I’m so sorry. I understand now.”